I grew up a military brat. My dad was in the Coast Guard and as a result we lived in warm coastal areas for the most of my childhood. I was born in Brownsville Texas and my father tells me that at 3 weeks old I was put under a tree at a beach all day and ended up so sunburned it required a trip to the hospital. We lived in Biloxi Mississippi after that and most of the pictures from that time show me with a sunburned body. I have red hair, blue eyes fair skin and freckles .We spent 6 years in Hawaii, and again, all the pictures are of me with a sunburned body-even in the Christmas pictures. While we lived in Hawaii I joined a competitive swim team, and thus moved into the next phase of my sun overexposure.
From the time I was 9 years old, until I was 18 , I swam competitively. In the summers, of course, that meant outdoor pools, and when I turned 15 it also meant lifeguarding. Sunscreen? Never. If I was sunburned I put the umbrella up on the stand and sometimes used zinc oxide on my nose. I remember for 3 summers (at least) having open sores on my lips, nose and hair part almost all summer from sunburns. I always wore a speedo bathing suit, and never had my stomach exposed. One summer when I was 16 the swim team traveled to the Virgin Islands for a big meet. The first day we were there, we were at the beach all day, and for the first time all summer, all of the girls on the team wore bikinis-including me. I got so burnt that day I could barely swim in the meet the next day. When I dove in from the blocks for the start, I cried underwater because my stomach hurt so bad. My arms, back, chest, top of my feet and face had blisters with water in them (something else that was a frequent occurrence for me).
When I was 17 I started coaching swimming and for the next 30 years I coached swimming every summer. As an adult, I used sunscreen everyday. There were occasional times (like cloudy days) when I didn’t do a good job and got burned. It wasn’t until I started having skin cancers that I became really good at applying sunscreen .I also during this time coached high school track, cross country, and softball that had me spending 3 or so hours a day in the sun.
When I was 37 years old I started having little things removed at the doctor’s office. When I was 39 I had a small sore on my face that bled, healed, then a couple weeks later, opened up again. It kept coming back in the same place. I casually mentioned it to my doctor during a routine exam and was sent to a dermatologist. I was shocked and somewhat scared when he said he wanted to biopsy the spot. I hadn’t heard about skin cancer, was not worried at all and I don’t think I even I understood what a biopsy was. When the doctor called later and told me that it was a basal cell, I was so scared. He told me to go to the University of Pa and have it removed. He must’ve assumed that I knew what was going on because he didn’t really explain what was going to happen. I know all I heard was “cancer” and thought I was going to die .I didn’t know what to expect but when I called for the appointment for the MOHS procedure, I was assured that I wasn’t going to die, it was completely treatable and it just needed to be cut out. Well the spot was small so I thought for sure the removal wasn’t going to be much more than the biopsy.
I went to hospital alone, even though they told me to bring someone along. I thought I was tough and expected the surgery to be similar to the biopsy and I’d be in and out. The spot was just above my lip and I wasn’t the least bit prepared for what was about to happen. I was the youngest person in there by 30 years and everyone had bandages on their faces in the waiting room. I thought wow if all these elderly people can take it then it can’t be all that bad. When I left that afternoon I was traumatized! I think the biggest thing was that I was so unprepared. I had 5 swipes that day and a graft to cover the spot. My face was numb and swollen. I couldn’t breathe through my nose. I was shaking and sweating. My face was full of stitches. I got into the car and finally alone, cried like a baby .I didn’t know how I was going to get on the road in traffic and make it home. I was exhausted like I had just run a marathon. Somehow I drove home through Philadelphia traffic and went right to bed. I tried not to be a baby so my kids and husband wouldn’t be scared and just stayed in bed saying I was tired. When my daughter saw me for the first time (she was about 15) she laughed because my face was so distorted, but soon her laughing turned to crying and I knew she was scared.
I was back at the gym the very next day. I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. I rode the bike and did an easy workout. My face was way worse after the night. But I was surprised to find that it didn’t hurt at all. It always takes about 3 or 4 days for the cuts to hurt, they don’t hurt the first few days. I was surprised to find how quickly I healed and how the scar faded.
After that, I began to have more and more spots. It seems like as the years pass, they are coming more now I have become more educated about skin cancer. I can spot the smallest of skin cancers on my body, and now for the most part, through self exams, I find almost all the spots myself. While it seems like I have them all the time, I catch them early and usually can be done after one swipe. I’ve also had chemical peels on my face and arms and had my lips and eyes treated with a laser to help kill the pre-cancers early.
I’m never traumatized and don’t even get nervous unless they are on my face on my nose or lip area where the Novocain shots usually hurt a lot. I can even tell when it’s going to be a big cut (more swipes) just by looking at the spot. I can even tell the difference between the basal cells and the squamous cells. Now I go to an office that I love. The staff is wonderful and caring and it makes a huge, huge difference. Dr Lawrence is unbelievable, a true talent. She is like an artist. When I see the size of some of the surgeries, and then what it looks like once it is closed, I am amazed at how she does it. She has always used primary closures, never a graft with me. I don’t have one scar that is distorted or ugly (and I’ve had a lot of cuts!) I have laid on the table at times after several swipes and wondered if I was going to be disfigured after so much skin was removed and never once has that ever happened. I have some really creative and impressive scars-but you have to look hard to see them. There’s not one scar that protrudes or has left me looking different. I know that all I should care about is getting rid of the cancer, but I think most of us would agree that it does matter what you look like when it’s done- that’s one of the scary parts of the surgery. Now I don’t worry about that part at all. The only part that bothers me is the initial needles you get for Novocain.
I always get up the next day and go the gym. I’ve had some pretty nasty cuts, but always go. I think it’s good to keep my routine. I think I heal quickly because I get the blood flowing. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I keep my regular schedule of work too. I get a lot of support from my friends and when people see me after a surgery, I’m not embarrassed. In fact, it’s good for me because everyone is so supportive. At times I am afraid that eventually this is all going to overwhelm me and naturally I hear of people dying from melanoma all the time so I worry about that too. I think that is why I am so vigilant about checking myself. I always ask about a persons past in the sun when I hear they have died from skin cancer, and it seems no one was ever as exposed or burnt as much as me. That just makes me check more. That being said, I don’t really worry about it too much. I think it’s important for me to be educated about skin cancer. It’s also very good for me to do self exams and like any cancer-get it early. And I think that having a good place to go to for treatment is essential. I don’t mean just for the surgery, but for emotional support as well.