Mental health plays a crucial role in our well-being, and expert guidance can make a meaningful difference. In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we’ve gathered insights from some extraordinary Cooper psychologists who help people navigate life’s challenges.
“Five Strategies to Try When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed”
By Jennifer Barinas, PhD, Denise Powers, PhD, and Alexa Hays, PhD
What are you feeling today? Chances are, it is normal.
During times of high stress, it can be hard to settle down. How you respond to feeling stressed and overwhelmed can go a long way in supporting your overall emotional well-being. Here are five strategies to consider to help manage stress and anxiety.
1. Acknowledge and Accept Reality
It may feel counterintuitive, but acknowledging and accepting the stress, overwhelm, or chaos you are currently experiencing can go a long way. Acceptance can be difficult because it may feel like we are giving in or giving up. We may even feel like the honorable thing to do is to resist at all costs! Resistance comes in many forms, including avoiding or becoming overly preoccupied with the situation. However, fighting reality can often lead to more stress and frustration. Acceptance presents the opportunity to embrace life as it is, whether positive or challenging, and allows us to respond in a way that is meaningful. Some emotional benefits to acceptance:
- Relinquishes the need for control: Acceptance allows us to let go of the desire to control things around us and invites us to consider the limits of our actions.
- Provides direction: Acceptance also clarifies the things that are within our control and provides direction for our efforts.
2. Embrace the “Both/And”
The nature of our thoughts can make a significant difference in the level of anxiety, depression, or emotional distress that we feel at any given time. Rigid thinking (which can emerge as “either/or” thinking) narrows our perspective and doesn’t allow us to fully consider the nuances of life. We have thoughts like “I shouldn’t be upset about my job even though it’s incredibly challenging. I should just feel grateful.” or “Right now, I feel so sick from the flu but my friend who has cancer has it so much worse, so I can’t feel frustrated.”
Alternatively, “both/and” thinking acknowledges that there are many truths in life and that feeling competing or conflicting emotions about the same situation is normal and healthy. Adopting this mindset may look like:
- You can be both excited to move to a new city for a new job but feel sad about the home you are moving away from.
- You can make a decision that prioritizes your needs (such as saying no to attending a social event) and realize that this may lead a friend to feeling sad that you didn’t attend.
- You can acknowledge that you feel helpless about global events and recognize that getting involved in local, community-based organizations provides a sense of meaning and fulfillment.
3. Set Boundaries
Setting and maintaining boundaries is an important strategy for managing stress, maintaining our well-being, and promoting resilience. Boundaries are guidelines that protect our needs and define limits in our relationships, work, and daily routines. Here are two strategies for improving your boundaries:
Learning when to say no.
Overcommitting to tasks at work or in our personal lives can lead to feeling overwhelmed. Taking on more than what we can reasonably handle can lead to sacrificing self-care (e.g., skipping lunch and breaks at work, not sleeping enough, less time for meaningful activities) and other sources of stress (e.g., problems keeping up with your health or finances). Before saying yes to a task or request, take a moment to consider:
- Do I have the capacity or bandwidth?
- What are the pros and cons of me saying yes?
- What are the pros and cons of saying no?
- What other options do I have? (For example: offering partial help, asking for more time, or delegating).
Identify clear boundaries.
Feeling overwhelmed or drained can be a sign that it may be time to re-evaluate your boundaries. Identifying clear limits can help you manage your time, workload, and interactions with others. Re-evaluating your boundaries from time to time can help you adjust your limits to your current needs. Below are several categories to consider when re-evaluating your boundaries with examples:
- Workload boundaries: “I can’t take on the extra shift this week.”
- Time boundaries: “I’m only available to pick you up between 6 and 8 p.m.”
- Social and emotional boundaries: “I need time to process how I feel before I can have this discussion with you.”
- Health and wellness boundaries: Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule or limiting your alcohol consumption.
- Tech and media boundaries: Limiting news or social media consumption to 15 to 30 minutes a day, or maintaining tech-free zones (e.g., during dinner or in bedroom).
4. Connect With What Matters Most
When life feels overwhelming, another way to regain a sense of control is by reconnecting with your core values — in other words, what matters most to you and what makes life meaningful. When we lose touch with our values, we are more susceptible to stress, burn-out, and depression. Core values serve as a compass that can help you focus your time and energy on what is most important to you. Here’s how to put it into practice:
Clarify your values and priorities.
Values are not goals but rather “big picture” qualities, such as creativity, stability, compassion, humor, equality, growth, and self-care. Pick one area of your life (work, relationships, family, etc.), then answer the following questions to help clarify your values.
- What kind of health professional, colleague, partner, friend, parent, etc. do you want to be?
- Who inspires you? What kind of qualities do you admire about them?
- Imagine yourself 10, 20, or 30 years from now. What do you think would matter to you in the long run?
Use your values to prioritize, guide decisions, and make changes.
Tasks and responsibilities can feel more manageable when they connect to something you find meaningful. Decisions and setting boundaries can also be easier when guided by your values. Below are some ways you can put your values into action:
- Look at how you spent your time this past week. What can you change to prioritize what matters most to you?
- When faced with a difficult decision, ask yourself: What choice would align with my values?
- Review your to-do list. If a task does not align with your values, it may be something you can deprioritize.
5. Seek Help and Resources
Facing stress with the support of others can help, whether it is a friend or family member, colleague at work, or a mental health professional. Please see some options available through Cooper below:
Professional Support:
Optum, Cooper’s employee assistance program, offers a suite of free and confidential services, including 24/7/365 support via navigation specialists (call 800.972.8976), coaching, and counseling. For more information, including access to the online provider directory, visit www.liveandworkwell.com (access code: CUHC).
Other Resources:
Through Optum, Cooper team members have access to the premium version of Calm at no cost (org code: Optum EWS, group code: CUHC)