Breaking the Silence of Child Abuse

By: Kathryn M. McCans, MD, FAAP

Pediatric Emergency Medicine, Cooper University Hospital

Over the past several weeks, we have been overwhelmed by the news reports detailing abuse committed on children. To wit: the Penn State scandal, the Syracuse Basketball headlines, the reports of abuse by clergy and, most recently, the child molestation allegations against Philadelphia sports writer Bill Conlin, purported to have happened 40 years ago.

The headlines are sensational. How can one believe these things could happen in such hallowed institutions? Yet, the allegations have become all too familiar.

Each day when I go to work, I listen to children’s stories, stories that detail experiences that no child should have to endure: sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect. Sadly, these experiences are shared by thousands of other vulnerable people in our communities, but without the national headlines. Most stories are told by children who are much like our own. They attend local schools and have parents who are ‘regular, every-day’ people. The perpetrators of the abuse most often are people who are trusted by the children and their families—a relative, a close friend, a neighbor. These violations against children occur in secrecy and often have been perpetrated for weeks, months or years. Most children tell of their experiences long after the onset of abuse.

All too often, once allegations are made, people in the community and even members of the family question the truth of what the children relate. The accusations often seem to be beyond belief. We ask ourselves, “How could this happen?”  “How did I not know?” The accusations seem too fantastic, too surreal,  too difficult to accept.

How do we stop this? How do we stop child abuse? I don’t have the answers. Even though I have spoken to hundreds of children, I cannot understand the prevalence, frequency, or inhumanity of humans against those most in need of care and protection.

What I do know is that each and every one of us must be willing to call attention to the plight of the children in our lives—our own children; our neighbors’ children; our children’s school mates and team mates; the children we see on the street, at the store or mall, or on the playground. If we suspect that a child is in harm’s way or is in any way unsafe, we must report our concern to the N.J. Division of Youth and Family Services by calling the Child Abuse/Neglect hotline, at 1-877-NJ ABUSE.  Callers do not need proof to report an allegation of child abuse, and they can make the report anonymously. (Every state has a similar statewide hotline.)

If we witness aggression against a child, we must, morally and ethically, intervene on that child’s behalf. We must listen and believe children, no matter how difficult it may be. The worst thing we can do is ignore a child’s plea for help as we do when we ignore or dismiss a child’s disclosure.

Furthermore, we must provide them with the opportunity to tell their story to professionals who have the skills to support them. And, finally, we must provide the resources to treat children if they have experienced abuse so that they may begin to heal.

Remember, if you are in New Jersey and concerned for a child’s safety or well-being, MAKE THE CALL: 1-877-NJ ABUSE.  If the child is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 as well.

To learn more about how and when to report child abuse/neglect, visit: www.nj.gov/dcf/abuse/how/

 

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